


All the AUs

by kookaburrito



Category: Glee
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Angels, Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Astronauts, Crack, Established Relationship, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 11:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kookaburrito/pseuds/kookaburrito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The ultimate crack fic inspired by <a href="http://kendrawcandraw.tumblr.com/post/22453675679/i-uh">a drawing by Kendra on tumblr</a>.</p><p>Basically, dom/sub AU with angel!vampire!Kurt and werewolf!astronaut!Blaine with their soulmate's name written on their hands and a 20 year age gap.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All the AUs

They were lying in bed together, basking in the afterglow. Blaine was caressing Kurt’s wings gently with his paw.

Suddenly, Kurt grabbed his arm and bit him, hard. He sucked the blood, and sighed, contented “I always feel weak after sex.”

Blaine reached to kiss him, only to bump into his lover’s nose with the glass shield of his space suit. Chuckling awkwardly, he took it off and finally pressed his hairy lips to Kurt’s. They kissed gently, and then Kurt spat out Blaine’s fur out of his mouth. They laid down and embraced.

“I’m so grateful that I found you, that day, on the stairway from heaven. I was banned by the other angels, everyone made fun of me because I am a vampire, and I was really sad.”

“You shouldn’t have been sad, Kurt, you were born this way” Blaine interfered.

Kurt smiled and continued “But then you appeared in your spaceship and even if my hand didn’t start to itch painfully, I knew I found you, my friend, my lover, my soulmate.”

Blaine grinned sheepishly, as Kurt rubbed his belly.

“Yeah, I knew it the instant I saw your hand. Boners always go with butts. A boner without a butt becomes sad and flaccid, a butt without a boner is empty and unfulfilled. Just like you and I, Kurt.”

Kurt’s hand became bolder and bolder, tracing patterns, reaching down.

“Although you were hesitant when you discovered I was so much younger than you, you know now that love has no obstacles.”

“I know. And I regret nothing.”

Kurt’s hand finally wrapped around Blaine, and he moaned with pleasure.

“Shh, Blaine. You’re in my possession now. I’m gonna spank you if you don’t stay quiet.”

“But… Kurt” Blaine whined “There’s something I need to tell you first.”

“What is it, my love?” asked Kurt.

“I’m pregnant.”


End file.
